It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize