So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
