Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
