im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
