if you like me you must not know who I am
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Watching her eat just hurts me
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Randomize