tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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