Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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