it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
