You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
