i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
