This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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