Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize