Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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