After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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