Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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