I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize