It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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