Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
