I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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