Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
