she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
