His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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