Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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