i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
