is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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