You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
