Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
