i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
birth control should be required to get into college
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize