She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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