Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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