I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
