You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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