he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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