Cold hands, warm shart.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
do herpes really smell.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
