so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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