every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
