I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
