Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
