just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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