In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
