I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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