i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
