I love black thongs
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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