And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
