So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
