Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
These tits shall not be calmed
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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