We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize