Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
