So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
