I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i think i just lost a toe
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
