READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
