On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
someone owes me an orgasm
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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