dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
