no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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