i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
