You surviving the open bar?
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and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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