You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
