His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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