These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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