"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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