I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
