Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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