Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
