theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
