So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
