so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize